Guy’s after-dinner speeches can be tailored
to suit any type of audience. Using up to the minute material, he recounts
humorous and sometimes saucy anecdotes of the life of Prince Charles,
the Prince of Wales.
Comedy material is often more enjoyable if
it is written to include those present in the audience. Speeches can be
specially written for any occasion given good inside information!
A few extracts from an after-dinner speech
are shown below - this one was made about 1999.
Did you hear about the fracas at Buckingham
Palace the other night? Apparently a fox got in to the grounds and ate
seven of mother's flamingos. He was caught in the act by a security guard
on patrol. There the fox stood, with a mass of pink feathers hanging out
of his mouth, looking startled in the torchlight. Not as startled as the
security guard was though, he thought the fox had eaten Barbara Cartland!
And when mother heard that a wily old fox had been caught in the grounds
with seven birds, she went mad. She thought it was Prince Philip up to
his old tricks again!
I really must apologise to any Indians in
the audience for my Fathers latest gaff. And it’s not the first time he’s
done it. We were actually in India once, being shown around the site of
a great battle where thousands were brutally slain. My Father was getting
bored and hungry and kept looking at his watch. He eventually lost his
patience and snapped at our guide “Hurry up, my man, its nearly lunchtime
and I could murder an Indian”
Did you see that the Queen Mother has a four
million pounds overdraft? Mind you I did my best to stop it happening
– I warned her not to get that joint Unwin’s card with Princess Margaret!
Yes – one was 50 last November. I had a wonderful
birthday do – sponge fingers – nutty fruit cake – rich sponge soaked in
alcohol – yes the whole family was there! 50 eh? Who would have thought
it – soon be time to retire. Most people have a job and retire – I will
retire and have a job! I have discussed the abdication issue with my Mother
– she just said No - that I should acceed to the throne in the normal
manner – well what she actually said was “Over my dead body!”
The new edition of DeBrets Etiquette is out
and it’s amazing how many things change each year. For instance, it’s
now ok to put your arms on the table - unless of course you are taking
part in the Northern Ireland peace talks! And ladies please note that
it’s now no longer necessary to go down on one knee and bow your head
when meeting the President of the United states – however much he asks