After Dinner Speaking

Guy’s after-dinner speeches can be tailored to suit any type of audience. Using up to the minute material written by Scripttease, he recounts humorous and sometimes saucy anecdotes of the life of Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales.

Comedy material is often more enjoyable if it is written to include those present in the audience. Speeches can be specially written for any occasion given good inside information!

A few extracts from an after-dinner speech are shown below - these will be changed regularly so please visit again.

Did you hear about the fracas at Buckingham Palace the other night? Apparently a fox got in to the grounds and ate seven of mother's flamingos. He was caught in the act by a security guard on patrol. There the fox stood, with a mass of pink feathers hanging out of his mouth, looking startled in the torchlight. Not as startled as the security guard was though, he thought the fox had eaten Barbara Cartland! And when mother heard that a wily old fox had been caught in the grounds with seven birds, she went mad. She thought it was Prince Philip up to his old tricks again!

I really must apologise to any Indians in the audience for my Fathers latest gaff. And it’s not the first time he’s done it. We were actually in India once, being shown around the site of a great battle where thousands were brutally slain. My Father was getting bored and hungry and kept looking at his watch. He eventually lost his patience and snapped at our guide “Hurry up, my man, its nearly lunchtime and I could murder an Indian”

Did you see that the Queen Mother has a four million pounds overdraft? Mind you I did my best to stop it happening – I warned her not to get that joint Unwin’s card with Princess Margaret!

Yes – one was 50 last November. I had a wonderful birthday do – sponge fingers – nutty fruit cake – rich sponge soaked in alcohol – yes the whole family was there! 50 eh? Who would have thought it – soon be time to retire. Most people have a job and retire – I will retire and have a job! I have discussed the abdication issue with my Mother – she just said No - that I should acceed to the throne in the normal manner – well what she actually said was “Over my dead body!”

The new edition of DeBrets Etiquette is out and it’s amazing how many things change each year. For instance, it’s now ok to put your arms on the table - unless of course you are taking part in the Northern Ireland peace talks! And ladies please note that it’s now no longer necessary to go down on one knee and bow your head when meeting the President of the United states – however much he asks you to!